Every aspect of human life and its wonders I've been always fascinated by all that. Like for example every human makes conscious decisions every second of his life and in time every human learns to do this so easily that no one really notices these things, like choosing what to think in their mind and what to say out loud or something as mundane as using their body. And it's just so amazing sometimes when you think about it, you are able to see a brilliance in every action that happens there is a grace, a rhythm, a certain way for things to happen and no one sees that everyone is busy in their own lives and they just miss out on all this beauty, sure they visit new places which are uninhabited and see places which are habituated but what they are seeing is just places on this planet and not the beauty that is at work behind the scenes all the time which is not even a few inches away from them, it's everywhere just looking out of the window will be enough to see that beauty....But they just don't see it.....No they don't....What they do see instead is all that which is easily accessible to them like what I said above.......
The second important thing which I would like to address here at this point is the fact that a lot of people are behind material gains or what they desire are material aspects of human life, like I see a lot of people wanting different things in their life, it varies from wanting to be able to eat food thrice a day having a comfortable place to stay and enough clothes to protect them from nature to wanting something which is completely luxurious like a very comfortable car or a expensive trip to somewhere around the world or anything which would attract other people or at the very least their attention to said things or there are some people who want something which is slightly different from this they want to do something for the world like change the course of humanity for good or bad or gain such a fame that generations to come will remember them may it be for good or bad (Of course I am talking about good or bad in general perspective, everyone can put forward opinion very differently based on how they see a thing.) or some people are more interested in simply understanding other people be it two or more people in love with each-other making it a complex love connection or be it understanding those people who live differently than "normal" people and hence are called "Special" people or "abnormal" people ( Another curious thing which I would like to post on at a later time.) or it could be any number of other things which currently slip my mind. what doesn't change in all these examples is the common materialistic factor. That just doesn't go away. All the things mentioned above are of temporary nature. Against the test of time or against the vastness of this universe itself these petty things are nothing yet people do not let such things go easily..... What puzzles me is the affection towards such things, do they not remember that everything along with their own body will cease to exist after a certain time? Or is it just that they don't think about it and simply fall victim to their ego or pride or greed or jealousy or the simple fact that they own it or they have earned the right to be allowed to keep it? Regardless of the reason behind their desire what doesn't change is the simple fact that they like everyone else before them will fail to remain forever.........
And then I question myself cause I understand that scrutinizing others is fairly simple as I hardly know any of them and even if I know any of them personally there is a limit to how much a person can know another. But one is always true to oneself and one can never hide anything from oneself for the simple fact (I apologize to anyone who is reading this if I cannot clearly put forward what I am trying to say over here.) that oneself is always living every moment with oneself and can see what he/she sees, can hear what he/she hears, and can remember what he/she remembers, and needless to say knows every thought that has passed even for a second through your brain and remembers that as well even if you don't. Hence it's almost impossible to hide something from oneself........
So I questioned myself as to why do I want to know all these things? Especially when I understand that everything will cease to exist? What do I seek? Why do I need answers to all these questions which I am posing to myself and others around me? Who am I to judge anyone for what they think is right for them? Why do I care of what happens to anyone who doesn't want to look at what is beyond what we are able to see? Do I want to use this knowledge in order to do something with it? And if so then how am I any different from all those whom I scrutinize? Ultimately I also want to do something with the knowledge that I am so eager to acquire? And if so then my choices of want fall under the same category or sub-categories of what I typed above don't they?
And I am still not able to answer any of these questions. I see no reason whatsoever for me to need to know anything. Does that mean that this is the reason why none of the other people ask questions to themselves which I have been asking for so long? And already have come to the same obstacle that I face right now? Or does it mean that I was simply an imbecile who asked too many questions and forgot which was the right way and which was the way he should not have gone? Or does it mean that I am simply not interested anymore in anything that this world has to offer me, since nothing lasts or is worth having? And if that is the case then why am I still alive?
Which brings me to today right now, I am now in state of indifference towards almost everything there is hardly anything that makes me want to achieve it or try it or feel anything about it or give the impression that I would like to have it. I may sound a bit melodramatic to some people but since I am in state of indifference it hardly matters. So what does it mean? Have I become a machine under human skin? Possibly I do not know neither do I care about it. What I would like to write here on the other hand is I know not if this is just a temporary phase or a permanent state where I simply adapt to situations without seeing any real change in the current state. While I say this I remember quite well that change is the only permanent thing in this world. But then again it is not the world which is inside me. So possibly that rule doesn't apply to any human.
Clearly there is much that I do not know of but will I want to pursue it knowing that it doesn't matter? And if so then what am I to call it? Cause clearly it will then defy all the logic and the reason that I was able to come up with until now.
In the end I would like to say the following, "What happens in the future remains to be seen, what has happened in the past cannot be changed by any means and we find ourselves questioning the "present" which is rapidly heading towards the future leaving behind it the past which was filled with so many possibilities unexplored."
The second important thing which I would like to address here at this point is the fact that a lot of people are behind material gains or what they desire are material aspects of human life, like I see a lot of people wanting different things in their life, it varies from wanting to be able to eat food thrice a day having a comfortable place to stay and enough clothes to protect them from nature to wanting something which is completely luxurious like a very comfortable car or a expensive trip to somewhere around the world or anything which would attract other people or at the very least their attention to said things or there are some people who want something which is slightly different from this they want to do something for the world like change the course of humanity for good or bad or gain such a fame that generations to come will remember them may it be for good or bad (Of course I am talking about good or bad in general perspective, everyone can put forward opinion very differently based on how they see a thing.) or some people are more interested in simply understanding other people be it two or more people in love with each-other making it a complex love connection or be it understanding those people who live differently than "normal" people and hence are called "Special" people or "abnormal" people ( Another curious thing which I would like to post on at a later time.) or it could be any number of other things which currently slip my mind. what doesn't change in all these examples is the common materialistic factor. That just doesn't go away. All the things mentioned above are of temporary nature. Against the test of time or against the vastness of this universe itself these petty things are nothing yet people do not let such things go easily..... What puzzles me is the affection towards such things, do they not remember that everything along with their own body will cease to exist after a certain time? Or is it just that they don't think about it and simply fall victim to their ego or pride or greed or jealousy or the simple fact that they own it or they have earned the right to be allowed to keep it? Regardless of the reason behind their desire what doesn't change is the simple fact that they like everyone else before them will fail to remain forever.........
And then I question myself cause I understand that scrutinizing others is fairly simple as I hardly know any of them and even if I know any of them personally there is a limit to how much a person can know another. But one is always true to oneself and one can never hide anything from oneself for the simple fact (I apologize to anyone who is reading this if I cannot clearly put forward what I am trying to say over here.) that oneself is always living every moment with oneself and can see what he/she sees, can hear what he/she hears, and can remember what he/she remembers, and needless to say knows every thought that has passed even for a second through your brain and remembers that as well even if you don't. Hence it's almost impossible to hide something from oneself........
So I questioned myself as to why do I want to know all these things? Especially when I understand that everything will cease to exist? What do I seek? Why do I need answers to all these questions which I am posing to myself and others around me? Who am I to judge anyone for what they think is right for them? Why do I care of what happens to anyone who doesn't want to look at what is beyond what we are able to see? Do I want to use this knowledge in order to do something with it? And if so then how am I any different from all those whom I scrutinize? Ultimately I also want to do something with the knowledge that I am so eager to acquire? And if so then my choices of want fall under the same category or sub-categories of what I typed above don't they?
And I am still not able to answer any of these questions. I see no reason whatsoever for me to need to know anything. Does that mean that this is the reason why none of the other people ask questions to themselves which I have been asking for so long? And already have come to the same obstacle that I face right now? Or does it mean that I was simply an imbecile who asked too many questions and forgot which was the right way and which was the way he should not have gone? Or does it mean that I am simply not interested anymore in anything that this world has to offer me, since nothing lasts or is worth having? And if that is the case then why am I still alive?
Which brings me to today right now, I am now in state of indifference towards almost everything there is hardly anything that makes me want to achieve it or try it or feel anything about it or give the impression that I would like to have it. I may sound a bit melodramatic to some people but since I am in state of indifference it hardly matters. So what does it mean? Have I become a machine under human skin? Possibly I do not know neither do I care about it. What I would like to write here on the other hand is I know not if this is just a temporary phase or a permanent state where I simply adapt to situations without seeing any real change in the current state. While I say this I remember quite well that change is the only permanent thing in this world. But then again it is not the world which is inside me. So possibly that rule doesn't apply to any human.
Clearly there is much that I do not know of but will I want to pursue it knowing that it doesn't matter? And if so then what am I to call it? Cause clearly it will then defy all the logic and the reason that I was able to come up with until now.
In the end I would like to say the following, "What happens in the future remains to be seen, what has happened in the past cannot be changed by any means and we find ourselves questioning the "present" which is rapidly heading towards the future leaving behind it the past which was filled with so many possibilities unexplored."
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