I've been searching as to why I was here in this world for a couple of years now, I admit that first it started as a innocent question and I myself wasn't fully aware of the depth of this question, but as time slowly started showing it's miracle I became more and more aware of the question I thought I'd find the answer to, clearly I failed, and again I started looking, failed again, this happened for a number of times, and I started getting angry about the very fact that i was not able to see the answer to that question, let alone see it I wasn't even sure whether it was even there or not, and unfortunately people around me aren't exactly focused on that question, they are not around the same task or quest of finding why they are here in this world, they are unfortunately wrapped in this world and it's marvels for them........
Can't say that I blame them, but I certainly was not listening to the same drummer as they all were probably still are, I was more interested in search of another drummer rather I was wondering if there might be another one who is playing the real tune, the tune we all really need to listen to, I obviously was not able to find anything remotely close to it, and then when I was angry and depressed.... well angry cause I had failed over and over again in the quest which I foolishly set for myself..... and depressed well that's a story for another time.
I found something which was always there I just was not able to see it cause I was too busy looking outside towards the world and pointing out their mistakes instead of looking what was with me this whole time, a faint image, a sort of vision a fading thought perhaps I can hardly describe what that something was, but it got my attention and I capitalized on it, soon I understood that my decision was quite spot on for that situation which I was in.....
That image which I saw...... it sort of changed my perspective to look at things...... more like I understood I was taking all this whatever that was happening the wrong way, and I felt so foolish....... All this time I wasted in search of the answer which I was growing sure was never there, will never be there........ felt like a funny twist of things, I was too naive to see what was going on....... but now perhaps I just may have seen the faintest image of why we all are here......
A B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L......... mechanism........ so beautiful that I am forced to write it the way I wrote it the first time..... the ingeniousness of this mechanism is so far beyond words....... I can only try and elaborate it here........
For every small decision one makes, the mechanism has a plan ready for it, the mechanism adapts itself towards every change in decision one makes and the result of is never something that wasn't supposed to happen.......... please forgive me if I am not making any sense...... I will try that again. The mechanism like I said has a plan for events to happen but what is beautiful about it is that the end result has already been decided no matter how many different decision one thinks he has made he cannot change the end result. that is what I meant when I said it adapts..... and even though I may not sound convincing please feel free to observe it for yourself, cause it's always around us, 'everyone of us' is surrounded by this mechanism, choice is after all a delusion that was given as an idea from that mechanism so we will not feel trapped, but in reality we may all be trapped tighter than ever to this mechanism........
I wonder how much of that will I be able to prove someday...... but rest assured I'd not have put it here if I had not thought that I've seen it.......... clearly I need more knowledge if I am to understand this.........
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