Thursday, June 16, 2016

A mind that questions.

I've been puzzled by the concept, existence and the belief that is God. I probably have written about God before, but I don't remember as I write here and I haven't gone through all my previous posts to check and confirm. With that said, God. I think, most believe when they are talking about a God as, a deity or an existence that is, omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient, omnibenevolent and omniversal. And a deity befitting that description is prayed to, to appease it in some form or the other, I imagine, whether to gain its love or show their love to that unseen and for the lack of an actual face to face conversation, unknown deity who is omnipotent and omniscient, for whom time does not exist since it's omnipresent. Wonderful. I just don't get it. Why! There are so many questions that pop in my head as soon as I even think about what I just wrote.

     Why should there be such a deity who controls everything around us be it now, in the past or in the future?
Why should there be a deity that we pray to and is appeased or believes that we love it?
Why does it need our love?
More specifically, if we are the creation of said deity, does it even matter whether we love it or not? And if we do love it, shouldn't that deity already know something that trivial, cause well, omniscience?
Why should it matter whether a specific person lives or dies, even a step further than that, why should any of us even exist, even I who types these words right now?
Why should there be a need for a person to exist who clearly does not believe nor love an unknown, unseen deity who may or may not exist?
And even if such a deity exist there needs a certain amount of propinquity to love someone or to even like someone or some deity for the sake of this questionnaire. Why are there no clear rules that were ingrained and/or seared into all beings?
       Surely there are MUCH easier ways to create and manage a world, universe or even infinite universes when there are clear mandates of what can and cannot be done and no one can or will question it cause omnipotence. If a mere human like me can think of such thinks surely a deity who is omniscient can EASILY find elegant, sophisticated and pristine ways to handle anything and everything. And yet, here we are, in this world, in THIS facet of reality. How disappointing.

      Sure those who want to argue can and most likely WILL argue about ALL the things that are written in SO MANY forms of literature that in some way shape or form will justify why the world is in the state that it is. But the way I see it, I feel it's just lazy writing. A convenient plot point that nicely ties loose ends.

       I do admit that I wrote about seeing a spark that at the time I thought was the answer to all the questions, but clearly now I understand that I was absolutely naive, and more than likely I was searching for an easy way out. A way that would set the record straight and clear a path that leads to glorious and amazing explanations without actually having to dissect and wide open everything and neatly examine all that which can be examined. Needless to say at the time I was wrong.

        Why must the universe be created for us? Who are we anyway? And what is the point of all of this? For all of us to become one in the end? To be judged based on our actions when we were alive? Be rewarded if we were good and punished for an eternity if we weren't? Really?  ALL of THIS, around us to weigh what our worth is?  And punishment or rewards for ETERNITY?  ETERNITY?  I repeat that cause I find it RIDICULOUS to even imagine something that cannot be measured in time, maybe it's just my mere mortal human mind that is not allowing me to imagine such a grand span. But really who can? Do people who yearn for heaven even understand what heaven is? Or hell for that mater?  What kind of punishment lasts for eternity? OR reward for that matter?  And if such a thing exist then what?  What happens when eternity is over? Do rewards cease to exist? Do punishments cease to exist? And if they do then what was the point of any of this? Any of anything?

        In one of my previous posts I was talking about the time span that we are alive in, I am paraphrasing when I write the following, a certain limit on our existence is what gives some sense of meaning to life, otherwise having immortality is bound to get boring sooner or later cause all of this around is is only meaningful as long as we are alive. So in a sense even these questions, words, sentences and thoughts that I am so vehemently writing are also only relevant for me for as long as I am alive, once that end is breached, EVERYTHING till that time becomes ABSOLUTELY IRRELEVANT in an instant.  And after that whether heaven or hell exists whether I am rewarded or punished for an eternity becomes irrelevant as well cause TIME IS IRRELEVANT. Time is only relevant for us cause there is a LIMIT to our existence.

       On a side note, Thoughts, dreams, desires, fears, anger, betrayal, feelings, emotions, actions and our existence in general and any and all things that are related or can be related with this existence and reality are only in question because we have a body and a mind to experience it all and death is merely cessation of those senses.

         With that said, what exactly is a punishment if we HAVE NO SENSE TO EXPERIENCE IT? Same needs to be asked about rewards.
     
          All those who believe in an existence or a deity who befits the qualities that are mentioned in the beginning of this article perhaps should ask themselves questions and try to find answers that make some real actual sense to them. Tailored to their understanding.

           But that's just me, a mere mortal who's talking about something he has no grasp over. Sure you can chalk it off to that. And most likely you will, if you believe without questioning.






P.S. : In hindsight I realize that writing that article was most certainly a MASSIVE waste of time. In the end I leave this topic by quoting the following, "If there are two or more ways to do something, and one of those ways can result in a catastrophe, then someone will do it." - Edward A. Murphy, Jr.

     


Thursday, January 21, 2016

Love...... Or something about it...... Some vague random thoughts, feelings and experiences.......

I never thought I'd be writing about love. But now I understand I was naive. (something that is recurring just like change) So, love........ well I've often felt that it cannot be expressed completely, songs or poetry come closest to showing a part of what love is. Let's see if I can contribute in exploration and the constant adventure that is love.......

What I learned about love was quite different from what I had seen or heard about love from various people and interactions. As always it is possible that I am completely wrong and the people who had voiced their opinions on different points of time were right, but I don't think I care about that too much. Who's right is besides the point, what is right matters more to me.

So what I learnt, love was a very interesting experience to come across and to start experiencing, since it's a constant adventure and since you explore something new about it the more you look, it really is an unending mystery. I think it's something that a lot of us look forward to since we always want something new and exciting in our lives, it makes sense why so many of us chase love, even at the faintest of glimmer of it. That is if they indeed want love, if they truly feel the need for that thrill, that need for that chase, that feeling that just pulls you towards something without knowing what it is drawing us towards or who.

On the other hand if it's not for the aforementioned things or similar to those things, then well, as far as I'm concerned it is not really love, it's an arrangement of affairs or it's smoothing out any possible wrinkles that may occur if they don't align themselves with a certain way of living that has been preordained by the society that we live in. Or so some would believe.

What I feel about love, I've pondered about this point for such a long time. I don't think I had the courage to write about it anywhere, I still don't. I think it was because the moment I start putting all of that in words, they get branded, labelled, marked, categorized.............. I understand that it doesn't always happen intentionally perhaps it's never intentional, it just happens cause that's how we humans learn to make sense of things around us. And once something is placed in a box, it loses its charm I think....... Perhaps that is why they say ignorance is bliss, if you are ignorant you won't bother putting anything in one box or another, you'll just smoothly float above everything and not actually be consumed or absorbed by anything, neither will anything stop you. And perhaps that is why you'll not be bothered by anything, well more accurately you'll be bothered by different things, things that consume you and absorb you as much as all the other things would, but it will be relatively small for some maybe.......

Having said that, I'll still try to put some of my feelings and thoughts about love here...... But it may not be very effective.........






What I wrote above was written one and a half years ago from my perspective as I am writing these words, and I had saved this article/post till now cause, even when I started writing about love back then, I didn't have the courage to finish it, and it always was on my mind till now, Ill not proclaim that I am any more courageous than I was a year and half ago when it comes to this specific subject, but this time I will at least try and actually give some shape and form to my thoughts, experiences and feelings with words. Or at least try to.

I fell in love with a wonderful soul a LONG time ago, and the reason I started writing to begin with was this soul, and that is how my journey began, before that, love was just another word for me, like death. Of course when you experience death you can't really write literature about it, even IF it was one the most amazing things that had happened to you or to anyone. So back to love, since I had not experienced it till that point, I didn't really know the value of it, neither did I know what changes when one falls in love.  Now after all this time, I have my own views about it, and a lot of songs, poems or literature in general has a really good grip on what love is all about. But, it doesn't end there.

I think, the reason why the subject of love is written about by so many and in so many forms is that it is indescribable, sounds like something someone else must have already figured and wrote about, I know, probably I'll be repeating just that, but the primary reason I say it is because love feels like a paradox, perhaps it IS a paradox.

Pick anything that is written about love and probably someone else will pick out something that completely contradicts whatever one has picked up. and on and on, the moment you give shape or form to love for someone somewhere it changes its shape and form, every time you try and answer that question, the question changes itself completely into something never before witnessed. And that is perhaps why love is so beautiful and so terrifying, so amazing and so chaotic at the same time.  A paradox can't really be explained unless it is being compared to itself.

Our perception, as pointed as it may be on both ends, is a very precise tool which is at our behest throughout our life, but probably unfortunately, with that tool we are trying to comb through an infinite space which is love..........................  And even after such a long article. I am nowhere close to even saying what I set out to, excellent. Maybe I'll try again a little later on.......